This is the post where I might say too much & get a little personal. It's real, raw, & true. Although it might not be a fun as the hundreds of blog hops, the giveaways, reviews, or the "favorite color" question & answer sessions, it serves a purpose. I have deleted & re-written this post a number of times in the past couple days, due to not truly knowing where the blogger line is drawn. Then, I realized, even though I appreciate every single one of my readers, the true purpose of this blog is for me to vent when I need to. Not all topics are rose colored & happy, & even though my main intent behind this blog is staying positive, to post only life's positive punches would be cheating. Things will get real from time to time & I hope you will stick with me through those times as well as the good times.
This week has been pretty unbearable. As many of you know already, I am one out of ten women that is currently battling Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or PCOS. It's so sad to think that in America one out of every ten women will be diagnosed with this incurable disorder. What is even worse is how it affects every woman differently & no two cases are the same. A medication that works for one, can fail another. It is a constant trial & error with no true cure.
Due to my insurance companies rules & their playing around with the medication I take for my PCOS, I went sixty-one days without a cycle, after three months of regular cycling. Three months of my body trying to figure out what it is supposed to do, & bam, medication not covered, do not pass go, do not collect $200. My insurance company, even though the medication I was originally given works, has decided that before they will cover it, I have to fail at least two more medications of the same nature. On what planet does this make sense?
I must now switch to a new medication with hopes that it will work in the same way my previous medication did. I'm still on the old medication, thanks to a sample pack given to me by my amazing doctor, but I had skipped the medication for two months while the insurance company made their decision to make things more difficult. This lapse in medication is what caused my lack of cycling & in turn has made my current menstruation to be one of the hardest cycles I have ever experienced.
It is day nine, I've gone as long as fourteen days in the past. I am miserable, irritable, & hungry for all the wrong things. The pain during the first few days was beyond anything I have ever experienced to where I could do nothing but sleep to ease it. I felt it mainly on my right side, & I felt my entire ovary seize up & let loose, seize up & let loose, until I was curled up in a fetal position in tears. Thankfully, that part has seemed to pass only leaving my ovary dull & achy. I only hope for this to be over soon & that the new medication that I start next week, will not fail me. My weight is yo-yoing & I don't really feel like weighing myself again until this has passed. Though, it seems that I have only gained .2 of a pound since my last weigh in & I'll take it!
There is a silver lining to this dark cloud. Today, I pushed myself to take Odin out for a walk. I need to get my body moving more. I used to walk over two miles a day to get to work a couple years ago, I know I can do it! I just need to get that motivation. This morning I filled up my MP3 player & I downloaded an app for my phone called Runkeeper. Now, I don't run... I never have as I am very awkward, but this app has a setting for walking as well as running, bicycling, hiking & more. I set it, started it & took Odin out. Upon arriving home, I stopped it & was very impressed to see that I walked a little over 1.2 miles in less than 29 minutes. This might seem slow to all you runners out there, but it's something!
It's a start.